I was driving home this sunshine-y day in the quiet as I most often do now, I realized I was thinking about how lucky I am. And I say lucky because most people don’t really get it when you say ‘blessed.’ They somehow begin to tie it with some religious thing they will never understand, nor want to. But lately, I have been reading books about Grace-Based Parenting and Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts (Yes, mainly when I should have been reading for classes.)
It started sinking in that though we may think we are lucky or blessed (if you’re the religious type! 😉 ) but all it really translates to is g r a c e . I looked up the definition on the free dictionary. This is what it said:
The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
This thought, it lifted my spirit and nearly brought me to tears. I had been running from (and being relentlessly pursued by) the One who put me on this planet. Oh, He had been slowly but surely bringing me back to His side for awhile now, and I haven’t been afraid to put this faith and reliance on the outside. But, oddly enough, I was realizing that I wasn’t letting it be on the inside. I was still afraid. Afraid that I was unable to be that person again because of many things. So many things! I don’t care anymore. I am only judged by One that makes a difference. He knows me, He knows my struggles and my heart. He tells me It’s okay. It’s not okay to stay where you are and be indifferent, but it is okay to be striving towards righteousness. It takes time and cannot always be done r i g h t n o w .
Maybe it was His Spirit pulling me. Maybe it was there all along, but I didn’t feel worthy. I don’t know. But, I feel it again, this grace that is all around me. I speak freely of it. I cling to it, because I know what it is like on the other side. Feeling like there is no such thing. And it is miserable and rotten.
Sometimes we get stagnant or fearful and forget that really everything around us is grace. If you feel blessed or lucky. I know people out there who are feeling anything but! Remember it is all grace to grow us and prepare us for what is to come. Hold fast, Help is on the way. 🙂